Elon Musk and the Doge Boys: Exposing Government Waste

Hey, friend, let’s dive into something that’s been making waves lately—Elon Musk and his team, the Doge Boys, uncovering some seriously questionable spending by the federal government. If you’ve been following the news, you know they’ve been on a mission to audit federal agencies, and let me tell you, what they’ve found is mind-blowing. We’re talking about taxpayer dollars being spent on things that make you go, “Wait, WHAT?”

So, grab a seat, because we’re about to break it all down. And trust me, by the end of this, you’ll be asking, “Who’s signing off on this stuff?”

The Wild World of Government Waste

$100,000 to Study If Tequila or Gin Makes Sunfish More Aggressive

First up, we’ve got a study that sounds like a frat party gone wrong. The government spent $100,000 to find out if tequila or gin makes sunfish more aggressive. My bet? Tequila. But seriously, why is this a thing?

$1 Million to Study Cocaine and Japanese Quail

Next, there’s nearly $1 million spent to determine if cocaine makes Japanese quail more sexually promiscuous. I’m not even kidding. Who comes up with these studies? And more importantly, who approves them?

$750,000 to Debate the Moon Landing Quote

Remember Neil Armstrong’s famous line, “One small step for man”? Well, the government dropped $750,000 to figure out if he said “man” or “a man.” Spoiler alert: the study was inconclusive.

The “What Were They Thinking?” Section

$1.5 Million to Expand the Video Gaming Industry in New York

Gaming is huge, but do taxpayers really need to foot the bill for this? Apparently, someone thought so.

$388,000 to Columbia University

Columbia, with its massive endowment fund, received nearly $400,000 in taxpayer money. Meanwhile, students are paying sky-high tuition. Something doesn’t add up here.

$45 Million for Diversity and Inclusion Scholarships in Burma

While diversity initiatives are important, $45 million for scholarships in Burma? That’s a head-scratcher.

The “Wait, This Is Real?” Category

$289,000 for Diverse Bird Watcher Groups

This isn’t about studying birds—it’s about making bird-watching groups more diverse. Because apparently, the lack of diversity among bird watchers is a pressing national issue.

$28 Million on Green Camouflage for Afghan Soldiers

The U.S. spent $28 million on green camouflage uniforms for the Afghan National Army. In a desert. Where green doesn’t exactly blend in.

$2.5 Million on a Super Bowl Ad for the Census

Because nothing says “census” like a multi-million-dollar Super Bowl ad.

The “Cultural Enrichment” Spending

$1.7 Million for Holograms of Dead Comedians

The National Comedy Center received a grant to create holograms of deceased comedians. While it’s cool to see Lucille Ball in hologram form, is this really where taxpayer money should go?

The “Racism Spending” Section

In 2024 alone, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) spent:

• $125,000 on anti-racist healing in nature.
• $151,000 on perceived racism and cardiovascular disease risk.
• $516,000 on the effects of racism on brain health.
• $611,000 on microaggressions among Latinx individuals with obesity.

While these topics are important, the amounts being spent raise eyebrows.

The “Science Gone Wild” Studies

$6.9 Million on Smart Toilets

Yes, smart toilets that recognize users by their, um, anal prints. Don’t worry, your data will be stored securely in the cloud.

$1.5 Million to Use Kittens for Motion Sickness Research

Because nothing says “science” like strapping kittens into motion sickness experiments.

$419,000 to Study Lonely Rats and Cocaine

Researchers wanted to know if lonely rats seek cocaine more than happy rats. Essential research, right?

$2.3 Million to Inject Dogs with Cocaine

The NIH spent millions injecting dogs with cocaine. PETA, where are you?

The “International Spending” Head-Scratchers

$20 Million on “Alam Simsim” for Iraqi Kids

A Sesame Street-style show for Iraqi children. While educational, $20 million is a hefty price tag.

$123,000 to Teach Kids in Kenya How to Go Viral on Social Media

Because what the world needs is more viral TikTokers.

The Political Subscriptions Scandal

$8.2 Million on Politico Subscriptions

Federal agencies spent millions on Politico subscriptions. The same Politico that called the Hunter Biden laptop story “Russian disinformation.” Coincidence?

The Pentagon’s Accounting Disaster

The Pentagon has failed seven audits in a row and can’t account for $824 billion. That’s billion with a B.

The Remote Work Dilemma

Federal agencies are paying for massive office spaces while employees work from home. For example, the Department of Agriculture’s headquarters, which can hold 7,400 people, averages just 456 workers daily. That’s a 6% occupancy rate.

President Trump’s administration has pushed for a return to in-office work, but critics argue it could lead to resignations. However, as Caroline Levit pointed out, most doctors and scientists show up to work—why can’t federal employees?

The Grand Total

The Doge team has uncovered billions in wasteful spending, and they’re just getting started. From questionable studies to unnecessary subscriptions, it’s clear that accountability is long overdue.

Elon Musk and the Doge Boys are shining a light on government waste, and it’s about time. While some of these expenses might seem small in the grand scheme of things, they add up. And when you consider the national debt and the struggles of everyday Americans, it’s hard not to get frustrated.

So, what do you think, friend? Should we keep funding studies on tequila-fueled sunfish and cocaine-loving quail? Or is it time to demand better from our government? Let’s keep this conversation going—because at the end of the day, it’s our money they’re spending.

What’s the most outrageous expense you’ve heard about? Let me know—I’d love to hear your thoughts!